MINI Isn't Mini, and It's All the Better For It.

"marshknute" (marshknute)
06/21/2014 at 10:43 • Filed to: None

If there's one thing car enthusiasts love to do, it's complain. Specifically, they complain about how new cars are terrible and the older generations are distilled versions of Jesus (in car form, obviously). In reality, almost every new car is objectively superior than its predecessor.

MINI is no stranger to enthusiast scorn. Compared to an original Mini, the 2015 Cooper looks as big as a Victorian mansion. Actually, the 2015 Cooper feels as lavishly equipped as a Victorian mansion compared to the Spartan original.

Here's the thing, though: MINI is not an example of cheap, utilitarian transportation for the masses. It is a premium brand with a focus on driving dynamics. The original was an engineering exercise to create the most efficiently packaged car at the lowest possible price. MINI's are built as efficiently packaged, sporty, premium cars.

BMW took only the elements of the original that were relevant in today's day and age and ignored everything that was outdated or undesirable. People liked the quirky looks and the unashamedly British character. Those elements are still very prominently displayed in modern MINI's. The anemic engines, hopelessly cramped interiors, nonexistent luxury equipment and unacceptable safety standards? Gone. Instead, you get cars that are small, yet useable. You get engines that are peppy or downright powerful. The interiors are appreciably luxurious for the price point, especially on the new 2015 Coopers. Finally, they are safe in a crash, so you don't show up at Grandma's on Christmas with a steering column impaled through your skull (which would make it difficult to try on the lovely knit sweater with a reindeer design that she made for you). That's the beauty of MINI's: they are tiny, easy to drive hatchbacks lavished with the equipment and driving dynamics typically only afforded to vastly more expensive and larger executive sedans.

What car enthusiasts can't seem to understand is that the original Mini is meant as nothing more than basic design inspiration for the modern MINI. There's no point recreating an outdated car that has no relevance in a modern society with specific customer demands and stringent government regulations. And there's even less of a point criticizing the size of modern MINI's since every model is smaller than most (or all) competitors in their respective segments. They're still mini in size, respectively.

But here's what enthusiasts just can't seem to comprehend: the original Mini was released in 1959. That's so long ago, that To Kill a Mockingbird hadn't even been published yet, and that book has been taught in schools across America for longer than any living person can remember. Mini has been absent from American showrooms since 1968. Many of the people buying a MINI today have little to no concept of the cheap utilitarian car that inspired it. Even if they are aware of the original, it is likely only fleeting memories of the Italian Job, and almost certainly the 2003 remake that glorified the first gen new MINI's.

Enthusiasts need to realize that for many people, the current crop of MINI's are the only Mini's that they've ever known. For them, a MINI isn't a simple, cheap and efficiently packaged means of transportation. For them, a MINI is a small, sporty, quirky, premium car they aspire to own. MINI has capitalized on that market and remains peerless.

MINI owes very little to its namesake. The simple fact that BMW changed the name from Mini to MINI demonstrates this desire to foster a brand under a wholly new ideology. There's no point comparing the two or criticizing modern MINI's for their size, because they are fundamentally different brands. That's evolution at its finest. And you know what? MINI is all the better for it.

DISCUSSION (9)

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > marshknute
06/21/2014 at 10:54

I understand the size increase and different market focus but I just struggle to understand why it's better than say a fiesta. Poor interior space in relation to size, long term quality seems a little lacking from the older ones I've seen and I know it's just an opinion but they appear quite ugly to me since the lastest redesign.

Vicente Esteve > marshknute
06/21/2014 at 11:13

Another thing going on for MINI, is that it doesn't matter how big, or heavy, or different their cars are from the original. The nameplate is so famous now and widely known, as well as desirable that they can put out a product that just slightly resembles the original and it will sell. Fortunately They sell a product that tries a lot to resemble to the original with similar focus on great driving dynamics, smaller than competitor size, center speedo, british flag etc. so lets just thank BMW that they have the MOST important traits done well.

Its the same as the Jeep Wrangler. It has grown 2 bloody doors extra, and can e had with Saddle leather thats stitched. Tell me, HOW THE HELL does that resemble a classic Jeep? But still, Jeep hasn't lost what makes them great, which is the 4WD Capability, removable doors and roof etc.

IMHO I think automakers are not ruining the recipes, they are just adding spices to keep up with the ever-so-demanding market we are. But they will always offer the most essential and true-to-their roots cars still (Manual window, stick, 2 doors Wrangler. Base Stick Mini), so don't worry.

marshknute > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
06/21/2014 at 11:18

The Fiesta has an economy car interior. MINI's have a (entry level) luxury interior and are available with nearly every gizmo found a 7-Series if you go crazy with the options list. MINI is the only manufacturer that lets you have a small, efficiently packaged, easy to drive hatchback with all the creature comforts of a flagship sedan.

Also, MINI's have more character than any other car shy of an Aventador. That quirkiness is endearing, and it's that reason alone why I could care less about a Fiesta's objective merits.

Tekamul > marshknute
06/21/2014 at 11:34

You have some very strong opinions, but I think the reason why so many people gaze upon the Mini or yore, is that they don't share these opinions.

I have a friend with a MINI. He went no frills, an entry level example. The interior is cheap and unsorted, the displays (electronic, not the gauges) are hard to read, the audio system is counterintuitive, and the switch gear is bothersome. And he paid more for it and its anemic motor than the competition.

But he got a mini, which he has wanted for some time, because of how cool the originals were.....

I think BMW has succeeded in crafting a profitable one-and-done brand.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > marshknute
06/21/2014 at 11:36

Fair point, I suppose I find it hard to get because MINIs don't do it for me so i see them as just another car especially since gadgets arent of interest to me. But I appreciate some become attached to the quirkiness like I would to a classic car or something a little more racey.

tromoly > marshknute
06/21/2014 at 11:56

Have you ridden in an original Cooper? We hauled four people in my brother's '76 up to Chicago in comfort, all four people are around 6-foot tall and the drive was about an hour each way, no issues at all.

Old-Busted-Hotness > marshknute
06/22/2014 at 09:06

I might concede some of your points if the MINI wasn't such an overstyled mess. The original's charm was its simplicity, a byproduct of its price. Look at that interior: see anything that doesn't need to be there? (the one pictured is missing the trim panels that hide the defroster ducts, by the way) Compare to the MINI interior, plastic trim panels everywhere, giant circles, just trying soooo hard to be edgy and cool. Love me, love me!

The outside is nearly as bad, with too much complication of what should be simple elements, and the wheels are still too goddamn big. The Mini's 10-inchers made interior volume; the MINI's 18's or whatever the hell they are take it away, along with any resemblance to the original. 14's would fit better, free up some space, and don't tell me a supposedly lightweight car needs brakes that won't fit in a 14.

It's a cynical attempt to cash in on the original's charm. Is it better for 2014? Yes. Would I buy one? No. I'll put that money into a MkI and take my chances with fiery death, thanks. I'll die smiling.

marshknute > Old-Busted-Hotness
06/22/2014 at 09:23

Read my article again, and stop thinking about MINI like an ignorant enthusiast who is stuck in the past. MINI is a completely different brand from Mini. They have completely different design ideologies. The only thing that MINI has in common with the original is a vague physical likeness.

People want the crazy styling (which looks fantastic, btw, not messy in the least). People want the car to look sporty (big wheels). People want a premium interior filled with gadgets. The only reason why people liked the Spartan original is because they couldn't afford something better and learned to enjoy what little they had.

Unlike enthusiasts, BMW knows what customers actually want, and BMW knows how to make a better MINI than the original.

Old-Busted-Hotness > marshknute
06/22/2014 at 12:42

I freely admit to being stuck in the past. I like it here.

You're a fan, I'm not. We're just gonna have to leave it there because there's no way in hell either one of us is going to convince the other. But don't label me ignorant for having an opinion that differs from yours.